'Proving them wrong' isn't something my kid needs to embrace in order to succeed

Iola Ciavarra
February 23, 2022
I always had a strong sense of my purpose.

From the age of 10, I would pour over ingredients on the back of beauty products and spend every last cent on makeup and skincare. As my career took flight in the aesthetic industry, I found excitement and fulfilment in helping others achieve their aesthetic wellness. It turns out, it’s a pretty limitless opportunity. Living in our best skin affords us a sense of power and strength to face the world. It’s a form of self-care that everyone deserves. It can be fun and fashionable but it can be life-changing too. I’ve seen women who have suffered psychological and physical trauma, extreme hardship, and chronic illness, given an emotional rejuvenation at the hands of aesthetic enhancement. Letting go of the aesthetic shackles that reflect your traumatic past can have a profound effect on building your brighter future.

But it sure wasn’t a steady progression.

Over the years, I have had my fair share of naysayers and obstacles. I’ve been told to “stay in my lane” when showing initiative, been labeled “meat at the door” when managing events, “you’ll never succeed at that” and “do you really want this job, think of your family?” from future managers and my favourite (not), “ice queen” when refusing the advances of a boss. Speaking for
women in the workforce, we deal with these situations in a variety of ways. Sometimes we lose confidence, sometimes we develop a wall, and sometimes we just curtail ourselves because, well, it’s just easier. For me, my inner monologue just said “prove them wrong”.

I took on positions and roles in work and in my personal life, just for the sake of proving that I could. I thought that by doing that, I would be fulfilled, successful and happy. What I’ve come to realise now, years later, is that while that attitude did get me some big wins and some great experiences, it came with a cost. The cost of time. Time spent away from exploring my unique path. I am so very pleased I’ve figured it out, I got there in the end and still have lots to pursue towards it. It’s pretty cool actually.

Regret nothing though, right?

But what can I do with what I’ve learned from this, aside from immersing myself in this purposeful path to authentic fulfilment? I hope to set an example for my daughter. I am trying to instill a strong sense of personal integrity and self-trust in my daughter. To encourage her to not worry about making everyone else proud or impressed but to explore her passions and be very self aware. With any luck, the future world will be a better environment to explore it in.

If I could advise anyone else who wants real fulfilment, I’d say don’t wait for the right time, and trust your instincts! It’s not important to prove them wrong- it is important to listen to your inner voice and understand that sometimes people have an agenda of their own when giving advice. I’ve skewed course and subsequently slowed myself down in doing so, it’s almost addictive. It’s not as easy as it sounds to shut out the discouragers but I truly believe that it’s worth it, because when being true to your unique ambition and passion, there really is no “wrong path” when you do.

Iola Ciavarra is the Director of Reveal Pty Ltd, Revision Skincare Distribution partner. Her unwavering ambition is to provide aesthetic treatments and solutions to consumers and clinic and salon owners that actually work, with less of the “fluffy stuff”. She has worked in the Aesthetics Industry for over 30 years in Training, Education, Management and Marketing roles. Her passion is helping people feel better in their own skin, literally. Iola greatly values female mentorship in the workforce and supporting women in achieving their full potential.

LinkedIn: Iola Ciavarra
Instagram: @revisionskincare_australia @reveal_australia @iolaciavarra